Donkey ball returns to RC

Sportsbeat by Peter Jakey

Chaos reigned as donkey basketball returned to the Rogers City High School gymnasium for the second-straight year. With packed bleachers on both sides of the basketball court, or about a thousand fans, it?s obvious that the enthusiasm for this unique fundraiser hasn?t waned. The Rogers City Area Sports Boosters knocked another out of the park by bringing the Harlem Globetrotters of the animal world back to Rogers City. The fans had a hungering for more, and the boosters were able to find another bunch of ? insert your own donkey punch line ? to ride them.

Donkey basketball has been around since the Great Depression and only a few companies remain. Buckeye Donkey Ball is an Ohio Company that serves a huge segment of the Midwest. The athletes, if you want to call them that, looked to be taken care of extremely well, much like professional athletes, minus the attitude, tattoos and off the court garbage. With these athletes, the garbage ends up on the court.

The number of donkey ball companies is dwindling. The sport has no big T.V. deal, plus there is pressure from animal rights activists who complain that the sport is cruel and humiliating. It is cruel and humiliating all right, but usually to the riders. Being thrown to the floor in front of what seems like half of the community is not very fun, but it was all for a good cause. Riders were told a few simple rules, before we were paraded out in the gym like a group of court jesters. We were told the easiest way to stay on is to ride the animal as close to the front as possible, and of course, stay away from the back end if you fall off. That was an easy one to remember.

Getting kicked would not only be extremely painful and embarrassing, but YouTube fodder and a potential 14 million views. The riding tips didn?t work for any of the donkeys I ended up with as I got tossed twice, once landing hard on my hipbone. Most of my time was spent pulling the stubborn beasts from one end of the court to the other. It hasn?t been my hip that?s hurt since the game, it?s been my shoulder from all the pulling. In one of my personal highlights of the night, I scooped up the basketball and went on a fast break, if you want to call it that, but the harder I pulled, the heavier my four-legged friend got.

I also assisted on a shot made by Posen teacher/football coach Wayne Karsten, who showed a nice shooting touch in l

eading Team Michigan to a final victory over the Huron senior athletes. He even lofted a three pointer near the the end of regulation of our championship game. My only disappointment was not getting one shot off. My best opportunity came against Team Michigan State. I had the ball within close range, and was just getting on my donkey, because shots can only be made while on one, when Posen school board vice president Andy Stone, swiped my leg off. I was thinking he needed to be sent to the penalty box or something. I heard him laughing his (you know what off) as he rode off. Coach Izzo would not have approved.

At the end of the night, a relieved group of riders, some who need to work up a sweat more often (me), were just pleased to be part of a huge community event and to have survived. Would I do it again next year, or in a couple of years if the boosters bring them back? Probably, but only when donkeys fly. Sorry, I couldn?t help it.